10th Feruary 2010.

The 30th London Critic’s Circle Awards takes place on Thursday February 18th at the Landmark Hotel in Marylebone.  And it looks like it’s going to be a rather starry event spearheaded by Quentin Tarantino collecting the auspicious Dilys Powell Award. Apparently when he heard he rushed out to read every review written by the late, great Sunday Times critic. In the past Mariella Frostrup and Paul Gambaccini used to host, but this year HARRY POTTER star Jason Isaacs was asked to emcee and accepted. Who’d have thought he’d want anything to do with critics after Mark Kermode bestowed on him the horrible ‘honour’ of being his choice to play him in the story of his life as recounted in his new book ‘It’s Only a Movie’! If you read the book you’ll find out the reason is because they went to the same school together.

Anyway, I’m up to present an award so I told our chairman Jason Solomons to give me any category apart from the Foreign Film one. I’m convinced THE WHITE RIBBON will win and I’d kill myself rather than hand over any prize to that pretentious twaddle. I mean what was that apart from an art-house version of THE CHILDREN! Because Isaacs wants to introduce each presenter critic with a pithy put down, Solomons sent around a questionnaire which will be mined for either teasing praise or complete embarrassment. No one will be quite sure how they’ll be treated until the night so we’ll be kept on our toes.  I thought I’d share those questions/ammunition and my answers with you.

Proudest professional moment? I do think that still has to be hosting the FrightFest UK premiere of PAN’S LABYRINTH. I thought I was on good form that night and treated the movie with the deference it deserved. Having Guillermo del Toro on stage helped of course.

Most off-the-mark review? HOWARD THE DUCK. I thought it was totally fab, probably because I saw it in Los Angeles at the very first screening.

A poster quote one is most embarrassed about? “Mark Hamill is terrific...." used to promote that sci-fi dog SLIPSTREAM. It was the only good line in my entire terrible review and I was mortified to see it in huge letters in Leicester Square. I’ve mentioned this before I know, but these days film companies must get your written permission to use any quote.

Weirdest request from an editor? I didn’t answer this one, mainly because I’ve told all my editors what I’m going to do and not the reverse.

The comeback from an actor/director/crew over something written? Only two people have ever taken me to task over my reviews. One was Frank Clarke, screenwriter of Philip Saville’s THE FRUIT MACHINE, a particularly awful gay fantasy from 1991. The PR handling the movie gave Clarke my telephone number and he really gave me an earful on how astonished he was I didn’t recognize his rent boy Romeo and Romeo as a masterpiece. The fact most of you are probably looking it up now wondering what on earth this forgotten title is, says it all. Then there was director Mariano Baino who shouted at me that no one cared my review of his crappy DARK WATERS was terrible. Another lousy movie forgotten in the mists of time.

A gesture of praise or thanks? The only director who ever sent me a note saying thanks for the great interview was Michael Winner after my SCREAM FOR HELP set report. This is the reply I’m certain Isaacs is going to use by the way. I’ll let you know if he does.

Talent or career proudest of discovering/championing/ceaselessly attacking? I chose the first category and Peter Jackson, who right after BAD TASTE, I knew would amount to something. He was always so nice to me for promoting his career through ‘Shock Around The Clock’ too.

Screening missed/fallen asleep in/been barred from? None of those actually, but the only film I've ever walked out of is SIBLING RIVALRY starring Kirstie Alley because I was bored shitless.

Red carpet moment? Insisting I join the Sky Movies crew at the New York premiere of GODZILLA at Madison Square Gardens. Every single person interviewed asked why there were three people at our section rather than the usual two of cameraman and interviewer. I never did that again.

Embarrassing moment during an interview? Strangely enough I’ve never had one, but when I interviewed star John Goodman on THE BORROWERS, he threw up after every question on camera because he had food poisoning. He kept apologizing but wouldn't hear of canceling the interview until a later time. That took a lot to endure let me tell you.

So think of me on that Thursday night, all decked out in my Primark tuxedo, checking everyone’s goodie bag to make sure I have the best stuff, and I’ll Twitter from the event itself.

Until next time.

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