Directed by Tim Burton. Starring Johnny Depp, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter, Crispin Glover, Matt Lucas, Marton Csokas. 2010, USA, Fantasy Adventure, 110 minutes.

Never thought I’d say this but I think I’ve had enough of the Tim Burton, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter triumvirate. ALICE IN WONDERLAND is down there with Burton’s PLANET OF THE APES as far as I’m concerned in the ‘who cares’ scheme of things.

Strange, Burton tackling the nonsense prose of Lewis Carroll would seem a perfect match, something the visionary director could do in his sleep. Which is what this strangely conventional and ponderous ‘re-imagined’ mash-up of Carroll’s two books ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’ and ‘Alice Through The Looking Glass’ (adapted by BEAUTY AND THE BEAST/THE LION KING’s Linda Woolverton) often induces. On the day the pompous oaf son of Lord and Lady Ascot proposes marriage to the 19 year-old Alice (Mia Wasikowska) at a swanky Victorian garden party, she chases a white rabbit down a hole and ends up once more in the fantastical world of Wonderland, now called Underland because, hey, Burton thinks it's a better name than Carroll's beloved one. There she meets all her old friends, including the overbearing Mad Hatter (Depp), the ever-grinning Cheshire Cat (voiced by Stephen Fry) and Tweedledum and Tweedledee (Matt Lucas).  This second time down the rabbit hole helps her choose between a safe aristocratic marriage or a career as an emancipated business woman wanting to made trade links to China. All symbolized by the creepy White Queen (a truly awful performance from Anne Hathaway) and her spiteful older sister, the Red Queen (Carter), petulant ruler of Underland whose reign of terror Alice is destined to end. The static TV drama opening looks like ‘Lark Rise to Candleford’ on a sunny day. The over-extended stay in boring Red Queen land where her minions daren’t move in case their prosthetic ugly disguises fall off to reveal they are more perfect than she had me nodding off.  The oh-so formula CGI monster Jabberwocky battle finale could have been the climax of any nameless director-for-hire fantasy. OK, some of Burton’s trademark quirkiness is in full evidence in the trippy, dippy, acid-coloured excursion through Carroll’s literary landscapes. The whole motion-capture process is better than anything Robert Zemeckis has done to date that’s for sure.

But ALICE’s wavering tone is as uncertain as Alice’s decision-making, the added on 3D looking exactly that - an unconvincing distraction as the entire misconceived venture. And nothing saddens me more than saying that because Burton’s EDWARD SCISSORHANDS and ED WOOD are on my Top 20 list of all-time. 

Allan Jones.

© London FrightFest Ltd. 2000-2010
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THE CRITIC-AL LIST
5 STAR FAB - 1 STAR RUBBISH

Kick-Ass
Shutter Island
Alice In Wonderland
The Crazies
Case 39
The Wolfman
Legion
The Lovely Bones
Black Death
Daybreakers
Avatar
The Stepfather
Ninja Assassin
The Descent: Part 2
Amer
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
The Box
2012
Disney's A Christmas Carol
The Horseman
Solomon Kane
Pandorum
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs
District 9
An Education
G.I. Joe: The Rise Of The Cobra
Orphan
A Perfect Getaway
The Imaginarium Of
Doctor Parnassus
Up
Harry Potter
And The Half-Blood Prince
The Taking of Pelham 123
Transformers
The Revenge Of The Fallen
Antichrist
Terminator Salvation
Last House On The Left
Inglorious Basterds
Angels & Demons
Adventureland
Star Trek
Crank: High Voltage
Coraline
Dragonball Evolution
Let The Right One In
Drag Me To Hell
Race to Witch Mountain
Knowing
Monsters Vs. Aliens
Not Quite Hollywood
Lesbian Vampire Killers
Martyrs
The Children
Surveillance
Watchmen
The Unborn
The International
Friday The 13th
Franklyn
Push
Punisher:War Zone
The Uninvited
Amusement
The Good The Bad And
The Weird
Hush
Underworld
The RIse OF The Lycans
My Bloody Valentine
Bolt
Slumdog Millionaire