Directed by Deon Taylor. Starring Nikki Reed, Noah Segan, Betsy Russell and Brad Dourif. Slasher/Thriller, USA. 2011. Running Time 86 Minutes, Certificate 18.

Released on DVD 18th April 2011.

I love a good slasher film, my earliest VHS memories were those of Halloween, Friday the 13th and the Nightmare On Elm Street series. Sat down in front of my tv with our huge bulking box, my introduction to horror introduced me to many of its screen icons. Over the years the slasher genre has taken a bit of a nosedive, propped up and resuscitated by the likes of Scream, I know what you did last summer and Hatchet. Just when you think it’s finally dead, it mimics its boogie men by coming back for another scare.

Why do I say this and why am I telling you? Well to be honest i’m trying to fill up screen space as I have nothing good to say whatsoever about the truly abysmal Chain Letter. Not one moment of its’ acceptable running time endears me to it in any way shape or form. Thankfully it hasn’t seen a cinematic release and I truly advise anyone reading this review to not waste your time on buying it.

The plot pilfers from everything that has ever gone before it. Taking the Japanese style of horror where technology and nightmares combine, this tells the tale of a chain letter that is sent to peoples phones and emails, advising that should you not pass it on then you will die. And then people die. And that basically is the premise of this shoddy pile of shit.

Now i’m not a technically minded individual, I can switch on and use a computer but surely even I would know to trace the origin of the original sender would not be hard to do. But that route isn’t even investigated by the police. Instead we suffer a cast who despite their age are being asked to pass for high school students gradually being bumped off in a variety of nasty ways. Cause of death I hear you ask? Well they are all killed in various ways using chains. Seriously you can’t make this up. No knives or guns or anything creative (which is standard fare in many slasher films), our killer uses various chains in which to bring their lives to an end.

The film doesn’t shy away from the red stuff and the kills are very gory and done in close up and can at times make for uncomfortable viewing. The one thing that struck me here was a definite sense of trying too hard to shock, just for shocks sake. You can have some great death scenes but if the rest of the film is pants it’s not going to matter.

The whole thing just stinks, it didn’t even start off as a good idea that just didn’t quite work out, it was a rotten idea to start with which resulted in a terrible viewing experience and not a single part of the film has anything that redeems it at all. I never want to see this again and I would strongly advise you against doing so too. It’s not often I ever get angry at a film but this is just truly terrible. If I could mark it as zero stars then I would do so. Even a cast of well known horror faces can not save this and what makes me truly mad is if someone bought this as an example of horror in 2011, what would they think exactly?

I really hope this film fails in every way possible, never again do I wish to see it. There are a million and one better films out there and this just joins the collection of crap slashers such as Laid To Rest.

Kristian Keogh.

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