13th January 2009.

Back from Argentina, had a great time thanks. On one of the hottest days in the gloriously sunny capital I met up with the brains behind the BARS (Buenos Aries Rojo Sangre) festival, Pablo Sapere and Gabriel Schipani. Both men were a delight – Pablo, the John Carpenter fan, works in radio and writes on QuintaDimension.com, while Gabriel is the avid gore fanatic – and had just recovered from mounting their ninth festival between October 30 and November 5. BARS is a much smaller event than FrightFest; it takes place in two centrally located 200-seat multiplex cinemas and spotlights South American cinema in the way we do British talent. Movies on show last year were the Argentine NOCTURNOS, the Brazilian MUD ZOMBIES, the Uruguayan MUNECO VIVENTE V, the Chilean OSCURO and the Mexican 24 CUADROS DE TERROR as well as the usual Spanish (DOCTR INFIERNO), Japanese (TOKYO GORE POLICE) and American (JACK BROOKS) fest favourites.

Having seen a few Argentine horrors in the past, mainly by director Adrian Garcia Bogliano (ROOM FOR TOURISTS, 36 STEPS, SCREAM THE NIGHT and I’LL NEVER DIE ALONE), it’s only a matter of time before they produce something quite astonishing. You never know it might be Bogliano’s latest, WHITE COFFIN. That was what I wanted to talk to Pablo and Gabriel about. I’d give them the heads up on anything mainly British or European for vice-versa info on hot Latino titles. It must have been as strange to them me not knowing about the work of Argentine horror star Narciso Ibanez Menta (NIGHT OF THE WEREWOLF, BLACK OCTOPUS), as them not having heard about SEVERANCE director Chris Smith. Sorry Chris, there are people out there completely oblivious to your talents!

Pablo and Gabriel have a hard time with Argentine distributors because of the download and piracy culture endemic in South America. (I was absolutely shocked to go into one CD/DVD store to find absolutely nothing legal in the place). So the fact they mount BARS at all is a testament to their hard graft and its thousands of devoted fans. I hope both can make it over to FrightFest one day as they have an open invitation.

Because I’m about to start writing my new book – ‘Clockwork Fables: The Fantasy Worlds of Guillermo del Toro’ if you’ve been paying attention – I took a range of film autobiographies to Argentina to read on the beaches as possible homework. None really fired my creative juices though. The best was Robert Vaughn’s ‘A Fortunate Life’, which was erudite, thoughtful about the acting process and his anti Vietnam stance, gave great insight into his claim to nostalgic TV fame in ‘The Man From UNCLE’ and even offered up new facts in the Robert Kennedy assassination. Aristotle Onassis was behind it the ‘Hustle’ star says.

The worst was Roger Moore’s ‘My Word Is My Bond’, the laziest, shoddiest example of the celebrity culture cash-in cow I’ve read in ages. It’s all familiar press release stories given a supposedly personal spin, anecdotes that might have been funny at the time but aren’t now, and endless thanks to laboriously name-checked crews on ‘The Saint’ series and 007 movies. Just as you think Moore is going to spill the beans on co-stars Grace Jones or Jean Claude Van Damme he excuses himself by writing “I’ve always been told if you have nothing nice to say about someone, don’t say anything at all”. Cop out. Film critics get slagged off for not liking his non-Bond work like CROSSPLOT, THE SEA WOLVES, BOAT TRIP and THE MAN WHO HAUNTED HIMSELF. Erm, he has seen them right? And too many chapters cover his admittedly worthy, but deadly dull, UNICEF works. Moore’s autopilot, sorry autobiography, is one of those “London taxi drivers are the best in the world” copybooks, bland, boring and not worth the paper it’s printed on. Unlike the future ‘Clockwork Fables’ of course!

….until next time.