27th February 2009

So the Oscar-winning SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE is being turned into a stage musical.  Well, why not. Every other film worth its box-office salt or cult status certainly seems to be these days. From BILLY ELLIOT and XANADU to PRISCILLA, QUEEN OF THE DESERT and DIRTY DANCING, the music halls are alive with the sound of music. I’m going to beat the new SLUMDOG millionaires to it though.  With MUMBAI MIA, featuring the soon-to-be-classic showstoppers ‘Papadom Preach’, ‘Hello Bolly’, ‘Sari Seems To Be The Hardest Word’ and ‘Korma Chameleon’.

Seriously, why haven’t more horror movies been part of this theatrical trend?  Especially in the light of THE ROCKY HORROR SHOW 70s stage hit leading to the Queen Mother of cult camp and then crossing back over into a multi-platform Midnight Movie sing-along success. Obviously there’s already been the beloved LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS and the less-loved FRANKENSTEIN and YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, the latter from Mel Brooks who didn’t strike lightning twice after THE PRODUCERS. And don’t get me started on CARRIE: THE MUSICAL, still one of the biggest flops in theatrical history and one of my more brain-freezing moments of musical madness.

But what about EATING RAOUL (with its brilliant closing song ‘One Last Bop’), the more recent NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD: THE MUSICAL (promoted as ‘Like RENT, only with Zombies, and not Gay!'), the quite wonderful EVIL DEAD: THE MUSICAL (with its Time Warp-style ditty ‘Do the Necronomicon’) and the very latest, TOXIC AVENGER: THE MUSICAL (lyrics by Bon Jovi keyboardist David Bryan). There was the very highbrow opera version of David Cronenberg’s THE FLY, which apparently didn’t, too.

Surely even off-off-off Broadway experiments like GIANT KILLER SHARK: THE MUSICAL (clearly avoiding any JAWS lawsuit) and the EVIL DEAD: THE MUSICAL mob’s follow-up THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MUSICAL (which failed because it featured jukebox hits like ‘Take My Breath Away’) point the way to luring a whole new young demographic to the theatre? Especially as EVIL DEAD, for example, sold ‘Splatter Zone’ seats. That’s where patrons in the front three rows were warned they would be covered in stage blood and to dress accordingly. Needless to say these were the first to go with Ash fans wearing their purposely worn white T-shirts with gory pride. Sounds like a great sales gimmick to me.

What could be added to the up-coming roster that includes CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON: THE MUSICAL (‘Gill Meets Girl, Was it Love or Lunch’ screams the poster for the LA 2009 production) and another Great White Way stab at DRACULA? ‘Fangs Aren’t What They Used To Be’ is the old song joke there. But the newly revived Hammer Films should consider giving musical treatments to some of their back catalogue.  DR. JEKYLL & SISTER HYDE as a Fred and Ginger style vehicle maybe. There’d be an audience for Pete Walker’s HOUSE OF WHIPCHORD and I’d see SAW: THE MUSICAL. How about turning that famous ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ all-singing episode into a theatrical experience as there’s still enough fans out there to guarantee a West End run. Not sure I’d want to see REPO! THE GENETIC OPERA make it back on stage again though. But death, like life, is a CABARET, old chum, too and if I were Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber I’d be looking for the next hot horror property to make the terrifyingly tuneful transition.

Until next time.

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