GORE IN THE STORE
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5 STAR FAB - 1 STAR RUBBISH

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Directed by Tie West. Starring Rider Strong, Giuseppe Andrews, Noah Segan, Alexander Isaiah Thomas, Alexi Wasser, Regan Deal, Rusty Kelley. 2009, USA, Horror, 87 minutes.

DVD release date 22nd February 2010. RRP: £12.99. BUY NOW

Alex: 2 stars
Sarah-Jane: 2 stars

To save people time, if you really, really hated Cabin Fever, skip the next five paragraphs and enjoy the review by someone who shared your disgust.

The much delayed Cabin Fever 2 kicks off where the original left off; Rider Strong is at death’s door, covered in oozing pustules, emerging from the lakeshore where he was deposited by Deputy Wilson (Andrews). Meanwhile, crates of “Down Home” water, drawn from the lake that is incubating the flesh eating disease which put paid to the cast of the original, are on trucks heading towards the local town - and more specifically the Prom Night being held at the nearby high school. Put bluntly, splattertastic havoc ensues.

This long awaited follow up to Eli Roth’s debut has had a troubled history. Frightfest favourite, Ti West, attempted to have his name taken off the credits following the studio rejecting his original cut and, after several re-edits the film has finally emerged three years after the film wrapped, straight to DVD and disowned by the original director. Hardly the biggest indicator of a quality film, so is it actually worth watching?

Yes and no. The film has much to recommend it if you appreciate the puerile and nonsensical. The photography is impressive, with the gaudy, tacky nature of school discos pushed to the fore and various bodily fluids sprayed liberally over the nubile cast members. The acting is largely up to scratch, with Noah Segan (of Deadgirl fame) a notable stand out. The film’s real selling point however, is that it succeeds in being fairly revolting. Not scary or disturbing, just revolting. If you like sex and splatter thrown together with gay abandon, this really is your film – people vomiting vomit, people vomiting blood, people pissing blood, pus covered breasts, diseased penises, explosive hymen…this is possibly the most literal example of the overused “gorno” phrase that I’ve seen.

The biggest problem I had with the film is that when you look past the splatter, the characters are wafer thin, the innumerable side plots come to nothing and, most irritatingly, the characters all behave in the most unbelievable manner imaginable. Everyone remembers school day encounters where one weighs up the pros and cons of kissing the pretty girl who has a slightly coldsore-esque looking spot on the side of her mouth, but would you really jump in the sack with her were she clearly rotting and oozing all over? Me neither.

The film veers wildly in tone, never sure if it is aiming at schoolboy “Porkies” humour with a slug of offal or extreme splatter a la Braindead. Sadly, it will most likely leave fans of either camp somewhat bemused. This isn’t a dreadful film per se, rather a very confused one. It would have been interesting to see Ti West’s original cut as it may have been more coherent, but I suspect that bird has long since flown the coop (or Roost).

Now, over to Cabin Fever’s biggest fan…

The original Cabin Fever is one of the first films that truly disgusted me. I have never entirely forgiven Eli Roth for preventing me shaving my legs in the bath, so you can imagine I wasn't overly thrilled to be presented with its sequel. I’m therefore happy to say that CF2 isn't a patch on the first film in any way. It isn't as scary, horrific or memorable. That said, it isn't a bad film; oddly enough it’s a totally forgettable one.

The overused premise of unrequited teenage love is tired, with all the stock teenage characters, such as the nerd and the fat girl, present. There is even a token angry caretaker who unwittingly infects “those pesky kids” by pissing blood into the punch at the prom. The anti-corporate references to the evil water company are hammered home in an over the top manner, but despite all this it remains a likeable film if you are a teenage boy with a penchant for tits and no brain. Herein lies the problem - a film that feels very much aimed at the teen market but is far too extreme to market to them.

The gore is entertaining as it goes hell for leather for every gross-out award going, regardless of relevance to the plot. I certainly never thought I would find myself typing "look out for the pus-puking penis" in a review. However, given I made it through this without ever feeling the need to leave, yet I’ve never made it through Braindead, might indicate that plot structure is part of the package. Strip the entrails and ooze away and you are left with very little. Sadly this feels like a fun film that has been totally hacked to bits in an editing suite - anyone can sympathise with Ti West during the last 10 minutes of the film which might as well be an extra feature of unused and irrelevant scenes.

Special Features: Prom Blows Gore Reel - every single gore moment of the film put together and a rather standard Behind the Scenes documentary where the director is notably absent.

Alex & Sarah Chambers.

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