GORE IN THE STORE
REVIEWS BY FANS FOR FANS
5 STAR FAB - 1 STAR RUBBISH

The Hole
Outcast
Outcast
(Second Opinion)
Choose
Resident Evil: Afterlife
Mirrors 2
Puppet Master - Axis of Evil
Deadly Crossing
Death Race 2
The Last Exorcism
The Last Exorcism
(Second Opinion)
The Expendables
The Chatroom
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Splice
Peeping Tom - Re-issue
A Town Called Panic
A Nightmare On Elm Street
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 2
Night of the Demons
Lawnmower Man (Blu-ray)
Siege of the Dead
Psych 9
Big Tits Zombie
Exquisite Corpse
The Collector
The Collector
(Second Opinion)
The Tortured
Zombies of Mass Destruction
Tears For Sale
Higanjima: Escape From
Vampire Island
I Spit On YOur Grave (1978)
Twelve (XII)
Dead Cert
[REC] 2
Mother
Killer Pad
Rin – Daughters of Mnemosyne
Death Tube
Death Tube
(Second Opinion)
7 Days
Death Note
Beyond The Rave
Hunter Prey
7th Dimension
Army of the Dead
Splintered
Basement
Meat Grinder
14 Blades
Manson Girl
The Blackout
The Torment
The Torment
(Second Opinion)
Hierro
Psycho - Blu-Ray
Pet Shop of Horrors
Kaiji:
The Ultimate Gambler
Shelter
Fullmetal Alchemist:
Brotherhood Part 1
The Final
Bubba Ho Tep - Blu-Ray
Picnic at Hanging Rock
Vampire
The Dead
Resurrecting
The Street Walker
The Haunting Of
Molly Hartley
Soul Eater: Part One
Rozen Maiden:
Traumend Vol. One
Bikini Girls On Ice
Diary of a Bad Lad
Satan's Baby Doll
Feast 111
Phobia
A Lizard in a Woman's Skin
Valhalla Rising
City of the Living Dead
Dorothy
Daybreakers
Daybreakers
(Second Opinion)
Harpoon: The Reykjavik Whale
Watching Massacre
Harpoon:The Reykjavik Whale
Watching Massacre
(Second Opinion)
Feast 3:The Happy Finnish
Raging Phoenix
His Name Was Jason
Left Bank
Ju-On: White Ghost/White Ghost
Spiral
Ghost Machine
Stag Night
Bitch Slap
The Descent 2
The Descent 2-Second opinion
Dance of The Dead
Henry Lee Lucas: Serial Killer
House Of The Devil
The Twilight Saga
New Moon
Salvage
Salvage-Second opinion
Dread
The Haunted World of
El Superbeasto
Saw VI
The Horseman
Triangle-Second opinion
Triangle
Cabin Fever 2-Third opinion
Cabin Fever 2-Second opinion
Cabin Fever 2
Stan Helsing
Pandorum
Pandorum-Second opinion
Open Graves
Paranormal Activity
Growth
Growth-Second opinion
Train
Antichrist
Wrong Turn 3
Coffin Rock
Orphan
Sorority Row
Drag Me to Hell
Staunton Hill
Summer Moon
Driftwood
Messengers 2

 

Directed Directed by Yohei Fukuda. Starring Shoichi Matsuda, Mika, Atsushi Ishino, Sanae Tsukamoto. Horror, Japan, 117 mins, cert 18.

Released in UK on DVD by Digital Media on the 20th September, £15.99.

Viewers of Death Tube - a live online snuff game show - wake up to find themselves unwitting contestants on the show and try to work together to survive the trials placed before them. One by one the poorly characterized group are bloodily eliminated in a series of games that owe more to Nintendo Warioware or IT’S A KNOCKOUT than the elaborate Ruth Goldberg-esque torture devices of the SAW franchise. Yes thrill as they try to solve a Rubik’s Cube, gasp as they try to eat a doughnut on a piece of string, keep from chewing your nails off as they spin around in circles then try to touch a TV.

Yes, it is that hoary old standard the killer game show wheeled out once again, this time to exploit the You Tube generation. In its early scenes, this Japanese entry in the sub-genre tries to replicate some of the fifth generation lo-fi scuzziness that made the “snuff” scenes in David Cronenberg’s VIDEDROME so effective. Unwisely director Fukuda ditches this style early on to shoot the majority of the “drama” on ugly looking HD video, an artistic choice that renders later gore effects laughably unrealistic. Things are not helped by the fact that the villain, a kid’s cartoon bear who is initially seen on a TV, looks unnervingly like Children in Need mascot Pudsey bear. As the film progresses Death Tube minions appear dressed in fuzzy yellow bear suits. The effect of Pudsey’s looming presence is less than terrifying. Frankly things would have been improved immeasurably had Stuart Hall supplied a running commentary “and… ha ha haaa… and she’s…. ha haaaa…. she’s coughed up her lower intestines… ha ha haaa haaa haaaa”.

Take a group of undergraduate media studies students give them a couple of HD camcorders, a basement, and the cream of the College’s theatre society as a cast, then tell them to produce a searing indictment of internet voyeurism over a weekend. I guarantee you they will produce something better than this.

Stupefyingly boring with a near two hour running time, the only real victims of Death Tube are those unwise enough to watch it.

Stuart Barr.

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