FrightFest

Through all the years my better half and I have been going to the Frightfest we've yet to leave during a film (even Bubbas Chilli Parlour and ZWOS) but we couldn't make it past the 20 minutes mark for this. I'm not proud of leaving part-way through but I just couldn't stick it out. Sorry.

good god.....was it really worse than the chilli parlour movie? that cant be ......even i walked out for that one

Worse than Bubbas Chilli Parlour? Even though I walked out of Bubbas I would say Dead Cert was worse. Bubbas was terrible, but it was made with good intentions and a love of horror. Dead Cert was just dull beyond belief, and failed as a horror film on every level. It was lazy DTV high concept filler.

I tried to like this, but Dead Cert is a bit of clunker I'm afraid. Not much fun despite the pre-film comment that it isn't meant to be taken too seriously. Neither horrific / scary / funny, while some of the dodgy acting only served to hamper the film. Perry Benson was on reasonably entertaining form, while there was some attempt to add a bit of an emotional back-story. Overall, a dull mish-mash with the film itself not even seeming to know what kind of movie it is meant to be. 5 / 10

I walked out after about 30 minutes, I couldn't take anymore. It was just so slow moving it was making me want to go to sleep.

Sorry to say this, as I am always up for giving low-budget British films a chance, but this was rather shite. Strangely enough, it had its moments (mostly confined to the first half), but these were few and far between and I get the horrible feeling that around 95% of the stuff I laughed at was actually meant to be taken seriously. Even as a Cockney-Rhyming Load Of Bollocks meets From Dusk 'Til Dawn wannabe, it still failed on all fronts. Oh, and these had to be, to memory, the worst fucking vampires I have seen in a film. They get doused in holy water and fuck-all happens to them! One of them can beat a hardcore bare-knuckled boxer to death but the lot of them can't take on a group of flabby cockney gangsters! And the only skill the lead vampire seems to possess over his minions is that he can change his accent, mid-sentence, through will alone!

And what THE FUCK was going on at the end? And where did the surviving girl go after setting off the sprinklers? And why is my hair so curly?

See, all this film has done is made me angry. Damnit, I need to start making films because I KNOW deep down that I can do better than this.

What an abysmal end to an otherwise fairly enjoyable opening night. Left the cinema on a negative instead of a positive buzz. Not good. Dexter Fletcher was the only half decent performance although his plot didn't really make sense. And the guy who kept saying 'I play Dracula' - give me an effing break!

Vampires fist fighting? Really?

My better half says that all she could think of for the duration that we watched the film was the 'injurylawyers4u' advert. Having now seen that advert, I can see her point.