The 2011 FILM4 FrightFest All-Nighter - The Waterman

[iomega]

In our final film of our 2011 all-nighter will are stranded bunch of tourists be turned into crab bait? Thanks for attending and the we look forward to hearing your thoughts on all of tonight's films.

[M Prime]

Total shit. Total, total shit. No redeeming value whatsoever. Not as inappropriate a film choice as 'Faces in the Crowd' and so it has less excuse, this was just shit from beginning to end. Anyone who defends this garbage has become film-lazy and forgotten how to judge horror correctly. Probably written by a 15 year old struggling with his sexuality -clearly stil in the closet. The 'Hero' of the film was like a retarded Big Brother contestant who couldn't row his way out of a wet dream, whatever that means. I could have made a better film by recording on my phone what I left swimming in the toilet at Charing Cross station about 45 mins later. Apart from this and 'Faces in the crowd', the rest of the films for the night were exactly as expected and made the night very entertaining.

[Alex J]

90210 meets Harpoon in this weak US effort, full of characters that I couldn't wait to be killed off. This film lacked originality, characters to root for and tension. However, there were some scenes to please gorehounds. 5.5 / 10

[Wolfshade]

Terrible - a bunch of beefcake chav wankers try to get on with a load of bikini clad sluts on a boat, only to find they've inadvertantly sailed into the waters of the evil brainless killer fishermen hellbillies who have a very lucrative trade selling people as crab food! Was very unoriginal, the set up on the boat reminded me a lot of the absolutely dreadful Donkey Punch, then the drugged water scene was lifted straight from Wolf Creek, and the fight scenes in the swamp reminded me a lot of Storm Warning.

Fighting the watermen seemed to go on forever and their seemed to be an endless amount of them, making the second half of the film really drag and be very repetitive. The ending was the most stupid thing I've seen in a long while, with the burned and charred waterman, yes a happy ending with guys kissing wouldn't have suited the film, but surely they could have come up with something better than that! Very poor.

[Reanimator]

Really bad. Enough said.

[Satans Puppy]

Baaaaaad... I hate when White boys go black...

It's a sad state of affairs when you think the Whale Watching Massacre is better than this

[TwoWeeks]

So many clichés in this movie I was expecting a scene where with the line "the phone call is coming from inside the boat!". Even the basic concept is absurd and ultimately displays a very poor business plan from the villains.

[alacal2]

Any idea why an arthouse distributor like Artificial Eye is releasing such a by-the-numbers, trashy horror fim?

[BigWillyStephenson]

Ummm by this time i was in a completely zombified state.
I wasn't too impressed with it to be totally honest.
The gore was very good but that was about it really,the actors/actresses were not very impressive.
This film i'm afraid didn't really do it for me but i may watch again when it comes to DVD as i was exhausted by this time.

My rating 2.5/5

[streetrw]

Any idea why an arthouse distributor like Artificial Eye is releasing such a by-the-numbers, trashy horror fim?

That was my big question. Seems a completely baffling thing for them to want to pick up.

I haven't posted a review of this as I might have fallen asleep at some point. It didn't look terribly good, but I'll probably pick it up on DVD at some point (Lovefilm have a rental date of 13 Feb).

[The Soapmaker]

Any idea why an arthouse distributor like Artificial Eye is releasing such a by-the-numbers, trashy horror fim?

Indeed. I was surprised to see the AE logo at the beginning but within minutes it was clearly going to be absolute tripe.

To be fair, I kept falling asleep (again) but what I did see was terrible. And the "Watermen" themselves really should've been equipped with subtitles.

[DeanoG]

I learned from this movie, that there is no problem that can not be solved by punching it, I half expect the lead character to punch the sunset at the end and make it explode, he was a punching dynamo.

At four in the morning, slipping in and out of consciousness this was probably the exact type of movie my brain would be able to process without melting out of my ear, so I guess, I liked it ?

I'm pretty easily pleased though, its rare I outright hate a film.

[jonbly]

Really bad. Almost saved by the descent into slapstick as the hero stripped off his shirt and started to fire dance with a friendly Waterman... followed by footage of some of the most inept boat-paddling ever seen. But seriously... didn't anybody see this one and say "No"?