Hammer of the Gods

London Frightfest 2013 has been and gone, this forum is available to post film reviews, chat, etc. from the festival.
jonbly
Braaaains!
Braaaains!
Posts: 557
Joined: Tue Jul 18, 2006 12:16 pm
Location: Bristol

Hammer of the Gods

Post by jonbly » Sat Aug 24, 2013 5:47 pm

5/10 - was almost starting to like this one, but the sequence in the caves killed all the momentum. Noticeably half empty house says a lot...

User avatar
Stephen with ph
Running Zombie
Running Zombie
Posts: 111
Joined: Tue Aug 26, 2008 6:48 pm
Location: The garden of England

Re: Hammer of the Gods

Post by Stephen with ph » Sat Aug 24, 2013 5:55 pm

It took just 20 minutes for me to decide that there was nothing in this movie to detain me.

Sadly, I'd underestimated the heavy downpour outside and, having flounced out without my umbrella, I didn't feel able to slink back and retrieve it. Garfunkels was as far as I could make it in the deluge - my second mistake. The burger was flavourless and the bun slightly stale. 4/10

danthsmith
Twitching Corpse
Twitching Corpse
Posts: 47
Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2010 8:08 pm

Re: Hammer of the Gods

Post by danthsmith » Sat Aug 24, 2013 11:40 pm

Didn't anyone notice that it turned into an inept version/remake of Apocalypse Now at the end. I don't think they had seen Monty python and the Holy grail either

ChrisReynolds
Running Zombie
Running Zombie
Posts: 214
Joined: Mon Sep 03, 2012 11:01 pm

Re: Hammer of the Gods

Post by ChrisReynolds » Sun Aug 25, 2013 2:31 am

The worst film of the festival so far for me, and to rub it in, it's not even a horror. The overriding problem is just how boring and uninteresting it is. It starts with the macho Viking characters ride across the Brecon Beacons arguing and having fights with Saxons. During this section it's dull but tolerable, helped by the impressive scenery which provides most of the interest. An overriding theme during this section is the hero's rationalist beliefs, which brings him into conflict with the superstitious members of his gang, and also the Saxon Christians. Not only do they seem to have the same argument every time they stop, but the hero's beliefs contradicted themselves - he's telling the Saxon guy that Christianity is enslaving the Saxons and people should be free, but at the same time he's a Viking who's arrived in England to help his father conquer and subdue the Saxons. Eventually the hero arrives at the heart of darkness and at this point the movie just becomes unbelievably boring. The movie becomes stuck inside a dimly lit cave and people chat endless bland dialogue. My mind just completely wandered at this point and I lost all interest in the film.
2/10

Charlie
Twitching Corpse
Twitching Corpse
Posts: 38
Joined: Tue Jul 17, 2012 3:23 pm
Location: Norfolk
Contact:

Re: Hammer of the Gods

Post by Charlie » Sun Aug 25, 2013 10:02 am

Boring and flat. Takes the trophy for worse film so far. Why was it here?

User avatar
DJBenz
-----
-----
Posts: 637
Joined: Tue Aug 09, 2011 1:12 pm
Contact:

Re: Hammer of the Gods

Post by DJBenz » Sun Aug 25, 2013 10:32 am

Mostly men with beards hitting each other with swords. And they were the good bits. Must have been a contractual programming condition, can't imagine the FF guys actually thought it would be a good choice.

2/10

AdeBrown
Undead Horde
Undead Horde
Posts: 302
Joined: Thu Jun 23, 2005 7:58 pm
Location: London
Contact:

Re: Hammer of the Gods

Post by AdeBrown » Sun Aug 25, 2013 12:03 pm

This was a cracking romp. The guys beforehand set the scene nicely.
Not too serious, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Axes, did some one say?
Manages to convey a heroic quest, with a preposterous and over the top ending.
I am not particularly interested in naked men wrestling, but several of the ladies around me were very supportive of that scene.

Like Xena and Hercules for the Danny Dyer Generation.

Oh, and while I prefer Valhalla Rising, this is a successfully simplified version.
My livejournal Frightfest reports from days gone by (2004 to 2011)
http://surprisetruck.livejournal.com/tag/frightfest

Dom
Walking Dead
Walking Dead
Posts: 68
Joined: Mon Aug 25, 2008 11:05 pm
Location: Staffordshire
Contact:

Re: Hammer of the Gods

Post by Dom » Sun Aug 25, 2013 8:21 pm

It was so looooong.

danthsmith
Twitching Corpse
Twitching Corpse
Posts: 47
Joined: Wed Sep 01, 2010 8:08 pm

Re: Hammer of the Gods

Post by danthsmith » Mon Aug 26, 2013 12:04 am

Why can't vikings talk without roaring at each other? Seriously everyone should see "the vikings" with Tony Curtis and Kirk Douglas, a masterpiece or roaring Viking tosh. Check it out, you won't be dissapointed[url][www.imdb.com/title/tt0052365/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2]

black_rainstorm
Twitching Corpse
Twitching Corpse
Posts: 20
Joined: Sat Jun 22, 2013 8:19 pm
Location: Woking, Surrey

Re: Hammer of the Gods

Post by black_rainstorm » Tue Aug 27, 2013 1:58 pm

I desperately wanted to get a Discovery ticket to replace this but they were sold out by the time I got to the desk. This had the most empty seats and the most amount of people sleeping, I could hear someone snoaring in a deep sleep. I completely get Frightfest not showing back to back straight horror but this was unbearable and the absolute worst of the festival.

odishon
Running Zombie
Running Zombie
Posts: 220
Joined: Fri Jul 06, 2007 10:16 am
Location: London

Re: Hammer of the Gods

Post by odishon » Tue Aug 27, 2013 5:44 pm

Nipped home for a power nap during this one and from the comments I'm really glad I did!

User avatar
TheDukeAbides
Undead Horde
Undead Horde
Posts: 440
Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2011 10:08 pm
Location: North West of England
Contact:

Re: Hammer of the Gods

Post by TheDukeAbides » Tue Aug 27, 2013 10:44 pm

The cast were nice enough introducing the film.

Rock hard on F#

"Ah, ah,
We come from the land of the ice and snow,
From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow.
The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands,
To fight the horde, singing and crying: Valhalla, I am coming!"

I was singing Led Zeppelin throughout this overly long annoyance.

Nicely filmed, but anything filmed in mountains and glens can't fuck it up that badly (its the only good thing in Prometheus).

If anyone caught the Grindhouse trailer compilation before one of the final films on Monday, there was a kung-fu flick in that called 'The Hammer of the Gods' featuring deadly fight sequences and 'Lethal Kicks'.

That was more entertaining, with better, quicker pacing.

streetrw
Frightfest Hardcore
Frightfest Hardcore
Posts: 1560
Joined: Sun Mar 27, 2005 5:54 pm
Location: A hell of my own making
Contact:

Re: Hammer of the Gods

Post by streetrw » Wed Aug 28, 2013 1:07 am

It was the modern swearing that got me; that and one of the Viking invaders doing his best Ray Winstone. Pretty terrible. And for some reason (bearing in mind I used to be a Blake's 7 fan) I completely failed to recognise Glynis Barber.
http://streetrw.blogspot.com - For all your occasional film rambling needs.
http://twitter.com/streetrw - For when you really need to know what I had for breakfast.

AND NOW: SKYPE!

BabyJaneHudson
Running Zombie
Running Zombie
Posts: 122
Joined: Tue Aug 19, 2008 11:01 pm
Location: Shepherds Bush

Re: Hammer of the Gods

Post by BabyJaneHudson » Wed Aug 28, 2013 1:33 am

Fell asleep a few times.

What's the point of being a King if your kingdom consists of about 15 people max.

Acting was quite good but overall couldn't see why it was played at FFest. but thats not even that important - 4 out of 10.
BLANCHE: You wouldn't be able to do these awful things to me if I weren't still in this chair!

BABYJANE: BUT YOU ARE BLANCHE! YOU ARE IN THAT CHAIR!

User avatar
The Soapmaker
Undead Horde
Undead Horde
Posts: 398
Joined: Tue Aug 29, 2006 10:50 am
Location: London

Re: Hammer of the Gods

Post by The Soapmaker » Wed Aug 28, 2013 1:49 am

I was expecting to hate this, almost skipped it but it would've left a really long gap on a rainy afternoon.... in fact it was watchable in a dull sort of way, at least up until the silly Apocalypse Now bit at the end. Maybe it's because I grew up watching Arthur of the Britons....

I thought the low rent Christian Bale/Luke Goss lookalike star seemed a bit of a knob when they introduced the film, but to be fair he carried it reasonably well. It would've been worse without him.

Post Reply