FrightFest

"Omph" would have been a better title. Worst film I have seen so far. Copycat of cliche horror badly executed. After sitting through an hour of glossy, dumb storytelling the monster was also quite disappointing. Some entertainment value in the dry, wooden dialogue in bad English. Even nipples can't fix the film.

Fairly poor and best treated as a comedy which I don't think was the intention. Plot seemed to be inspired by Scooby Doo.

Agreed: this was unspeakably poor and entirely without merit.

And yet, still not as bad as Shockwave Darkside...

5/10 - not much to like here. Creature effects were OK. Character backgrounds were set up then abandoned. Just... meh.

Don't think I'd ever watch this again but it was entertaining enough while it was on.The toothachingly bad dialogue and endless shots of bikinied babes upped the fun value no end. She wasn't actually a Nymph though
Probably the only horror film to be set on Fort Boyard! 6 / 10

Scrofulous Peasant wrote:
Probably the only horror film to be set on Fort Boyard! 6 / 10

"Don't go to the island!!! It's a former concentration camp occupied by Leslie Grantham and Melinda Messenger!"

Tulpa of the Sea.

I heard someone say it would have been better subtitled - yes, indeed it would.

It looked really nice - just a shame about all those other things.

This comes with the promise of Franco Nero and a killer mermaid, but both of those two are hardly in it. Instead, what it it's mostly a fisherman stomping about stabbing people. It's a very unoriginal and predictable slasher film set in the Mediterranean but with 30-somethings instead of teens which makes their braindead actions even more head-slapping. How are five of them unable to combat one guy armed with a couple of stabbing implements? It's also very sexist, with the three women running and screaming while the men stand and fight.
It's not unwatchable, there's some nice scenery and we do eventually get a bit of Franco Nero vs. mermaid action, but it was probably the second worst film playing the main screen (it's still leagues ahead of Shockwave Darkside). 3/10

TheDukeAbides wrote:Tulpa of the Sea.

I just cackled at this, how true.

It was actually a really good concept, just poorly executed.

TheDukeAbides wrote:I heard someone say it would have been better subtitled - yes, indeed it would.

I guess that was a commercial decision to make it appeal to English speaking audiences. It's already cracked the US VOD market as Killer Mermaid as you probably know. Given the cast is foreign actors doing their jobs in a their non-native language I thought they did OK.

At least a killer mermaid is a fairly unique idea for a horror (or dark fantasy as this was more like) film.

The line deliveries kept putting me in mind of The Room. Or porn.

I was in arrow screen and had a ticker for altergeist at 10.30 on Monday monring. Walked out after 5 mins. Went up to arrow screen where xmorr was on at 10.45. Walked out after 10mins. (2 walk outs in 20 mins is a personal best). Then snuck into whatever screen was showing Nymph first. I really enjoyed it. Obviously was total trash but was hilarious and the franco nero monologues were funny as...especially the moby dick quote! Best thing on at that time of day for sure. i would watch again as well (with people and booze) just cos it was quite funny.

I can see this becoming a staple of 'bad movie' nights everywhere.

There was enough there to make it watchable (a bizarre premise, beautiful people running around in few clothes), and the dialogue was laugh-out-loud in places. (the moby dick quotes were personal favorites)

No, It wasn't what you'd call 'good' though.

yeah, basically it was a laugh. I'd rather watch something unintentionally funny and inept than something snarky and intentionally B-movie and bad (like many films nowaday). It's much more honest, endearing and interesting.

morralex wrote:yeah, basically it was a laugh. I'd rather watch something unintentionally funny and inept than something snarky and intentionally B-movie and bad (like many films nowaday). It's much more honest, endearing and interesting.

the problem with making an intentionally bad film is that at best you'll end up with a bad film. if you're trying to make a good film, it might end up great!