films we just saw
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Underworld/Transmutations
Not as utterley awful as Clive Barker would have us believe (its as watchable as his own Lord of Illusions movie).
Its slightly more Film Noir than horror and the cast list baffles: Ingrid Pitt, Denholm Elliot, Steve Berkhoff, Art Malik all must have needed beer money that weekend.
Its of interest to Barker fans and many parts are clearly Barkeresque.
Choker
Theres a woman in this with nice lips and she is also in Starship Troopers 2. And thats the best i can say about this film. A serial killer is given over to Hidden type aliens so they can hunt down rogue elements of their own kind on earth.
Oh it has one other redeeming feature... the villainess has a brit accent that sounds JUST like Mingy from the episode where Oprah Winfrey hasa talking bum and fanny
Not as utterley awful as Clive Barker would have us believe (its as watchable as his own Lord of Illusions movie).
Its slightly more Film Noir than horror and the cast list baffles: Ingrid Pitt, Denholm Elliot, Steve Berkhoff, Art Malik all must have needed beer money that weekend.
Its of interest to Barker fans and many parts are clearly Barkeresque.
Choker
Theres a woman in this with nice lips and she is also in Starship Troopers 2. And thats the best i can say about this film. A serial killer is given over to Hidden type aliens so they can hunt down rogue elements of their own kind on earth.
Oh it has one other redeeming feature... the villainess has a brit accent that sounds JUST like Mingy from the episode where Oprah Winfrey hasa talking bum and fanny
"Just what the world needs; a schizophrenic toaster!"
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- Undead Horde
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Okay. So they sent me Penetration Angst and it's barmy. Think of the barmiest thing you've ever seen and it's a DFS winter sale commercial in comparison. A girl develops genitals that eat people as a result of a childhood trauma; she is followed to London by a whiny admirer who gets involved with a pair of Siamese twins. Cue endless amounts of sleaze, perversion, nudity and degredation (and a few scenes of knives in close proximity to ladies' naughty bits that I always thought the BBFC were supposed to protect us from). To say it's absolute rubbish is putting it mildly. But there's a certain peculiar nutbag charm about it; it's rather like Hollyoaks Extreme or something, but gone very very wrong.Team Banzai wrote:oh.my.god. richard PLEASE avoid penetration angst at all costs!!!!
Nude For Satan is an incomprehensible Italian cheapie in which a doctor arrives at a remote villa with an unconcious girl, the victim of a car smash (signified by an off-sceen sound effect and a tyre rolling into shot), and gets mistaken for someone else, and appears to be two different people. The girl later turns up at the villa independently, and is also apparently mistaken for someone else. She takes her clothes off a lot. Later she falls down a lift shaft or something and gets menaced by a cardboard spider that would have been laughed off Dr Who in the Sylvester McCoy years. There's an orgy, a lot of crash zooms, and then it stops. Sample dialogue: "What is the memory but a fracture of time wrapped in the parentheses of the past?". Well, quite.
And finally, Buried Alive. Not the "Edgar Allan Poe" one with the mighty Donald Pleasence heading an impressive trash cast, but a new piece of drek starring Tobin Bell and no-one you've ever heard of, in which a bunch of mean-spirited clods trek out to the spooky house in the desert [1] to look for gold and [2] to scare a couple of bimbos as part of a sorority initiation.. Sole point of note is the nudity - there's more of it than there usually is and there's more of it than there was in the 70s slasher pics. This is absolute garbage and the axe murders couldn't come quickly enough for me. Buried Alive's greatest achievement is being so tedious and uninteresting that Penetration Angst ends up as Film of The Day by default. Well done, guys.
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This makes me want to track down a copy just to watch it. You'd be an amazing salesman on a late night naughty channel Richardstreetrw wrote:Okay. So they sent me Penetration Angst and it's barmy. Think of the barmiest thing you've ever seen and it's a DFS winter sale commercial in comparison. A girl develops genitals that eat people as a result of a childhood trauma; she is followed to London by a whiny admirer who gets involved with a pair of Siamese twins. Cue endless amounts of sleaze, perversion, nudity and degredation (and a few scenes of knives in close proximity to ladies' naughty bits that I always thought the BBFC were supposed to protect us from). To say it's absolute rubbish is putting it mildly. But there's a certain peculiar nutbag charm about it; it's rather like Hollyoaks Extreme or something, but gone very very wrong.Team Banzai wrote:oh.my.god. richard PLEASE avoid penetration angst at all costs!!!!
EDIT: I found it, I ordered it and when I get to watch it I'll post my review....
Have you heard of my friends capital letter and comma?
No? Well perhaps you should try them sometime... correct usage will do wonders for your social life.
No? Well perhaps you should try them sometime... correct usage will do wonders for your social life.
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Predator,well i havent seen this for years,but its still a cracking film from start to finish,and the predator is just awesome,Stan Winston made some superb creatures,this was the fox double disc edition,and i noticed that Carl Weathers arm wasnt so visible in this dvd edit,also if anybody has the bluray of Predator it would be good to hear your opinions of it.
The 13th Warrior i watch this at least once a year,and its one of my fave movies,why i do not know,but i keep hoping for a decent dvd release with a new cut of the film,and commentary,and everytime i watch it im sure Robert Patrick is in it,but still quite why there are scottish vikings in this,is as bad as a cockney Beowulf,both have loads in common with each other,great stuff and good score by jerry goldsmith too.
The 13th Warrior i watch this at least once a year,and its one of my fave movies,why i do not know,but i keep hoping for a decent dvd release with a new cut of the film,and commentary,and everytime i watch it im sure Robert Patrick is in it,but still quite why there are scottish vikings in this,is as bad as a cockney Beowulf,both have loads in common with each other,great stuff and good score by jerry goldsmith too.
"Time To Nut Up Or Shut Up"
yeah, I'm sold based on that descriptiontrixybella wrote:This makes me want to track down a copy just to watch it. You'd be an amazing salesman on a late night naughty channel Richardstreetrw wrote:Okay. So they sent me Penetration Angst and it's barmy. Think of the barmiest thing you've ever seen and it's a DFS winter sale commercial in comparison. A girl develops genitals that eat people as a result of a childhood trauma; she is followed to London by a whiny admirer who gets involved with a pair of Siamese twins. Cue endless amounts of sleaze, perversion, nudity and degredation (and a few scenes of knives in close proximity to ladies' naughty bits that I always thought the BBFC were supposed to protect us from). To say it's absolute rubbish is putting it mildly. But there's a certain peculiar nutbag charm about it; it's rather like Hollyoaks Extreme or something, but gone very very wrong.Team Banzai wrote:oh.my.god. richard PLEASE avoid penetration angst at all costs!!!!
EDIT: I found it, I ordered it and when I get to watch it I'll post my review....
LEGEND, as a big fantasy fan I'm surprised I havent seen this one earlier. Have to say I enjoyed it proberbly more for the lovely sets and visionary style than some of the acting although having said that Tim Currys Lord of Darkness was truly superb and he totally steals the show. Also didnt realise that Rob Bottin was responsible for the make up which explains just why the creatures looked so good. Funnily enough while watching this film there were a couple of scenes which reminded me of other fare such as Pans Labyrinth or even evil dead (shes green and wet and wants to eat Tom Cruise!!). All in all really glad I finally caught up with this one..[/quote]
Yeah but its a dry heat!
28 WEEKS LATER Man when I first watched this at the flicks didnt care for the really quick editing when it came to most of the action and the hand held camera work just seemed to annoy me and as a result left feeling that a good opportunity had been wasted, now finally saw this on ebay and for less than 2 quid thought I'd give the dvd a chance....Glad I did as really enjoyed it on the smaller screen, all the stuff that bugged me before was no where near as obvious and as a result was able to really sink myself into the film. In the unlikely event of a 'rage virus' infecting humankind or a toxic gas turning us all into gooey zombie like creatures, (see Planet Terror), then I would like to be considered as chief helicopter pilot.. ha ha..
Yeah but its a dry heat!
Just seen:
Diary of the Dead - Doesn't hit the unnerving notes of the original trilogy but George still manages to weave some timely social commentary in amongst the set-piece kills. Also felt that the humour was maybe overdone, with the result that it diluted the feeling that the characters were in an utterly irretrievable situation. Still, having said all that I loved the Amish man / scythe thing.
Halloween (remake) - I didn't go into this with high hopes, but ended up having really enjoyed it. At least they got a guy that loves horror movies to direct it, and I think it shows - it's a Rob Zombie movie, not just a bland watered down copy of the original. He's clearly having a ball for the first 40 minutes and ironically its only in the second half in which he has to follow Carpenter's template that it starts running out of steam. Great to see Brad Dourif in there but sorry Malcolm, Pleasance was the man
Diary of the Dead - Doesn't hit the unnerving notes of the original trilogy but George still manages to weave some timely social commentary in amongst the set-piece kills. Also felt that the humour was maybe overdone, with the result that it diluted the feeling that the characters were in an utterly irretrievable situation. Still, having said all that I loved the Amish man / scythe thing.
Halloween (remake) - I didn't go into this with high hopes, but ended up having really enjoyed it. At least they got a guy that loves horror movies to direct it, and I think it shows - it's a Rob Zombie movie, not just a bland watered down copy of the original. He's clearly having a ball for the first 40 minutes and ironically its only in the second half in which he has to follow Carpenter's template that it starts running out of steam. Great to see Brad Dourif in there but sorry Malcolm, Pleasance was the man
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It's not a sequel (and it's not a remake, and I rather doubt it's based on a Japanese original) but it is a blatant cash-in attempt. In Snakes On A Train, a woman has been cursed with some sort of snake infection, and boards the midnight train for Los Angeles to seek help from a medicine man steeped in The Ways Of The Old Magic. Plenty of snake eating and snake vomiting; inevitably they eventually get loose and terrorise the other assembled victims. Some bits of yukko nastiness ensue before a jaw-dislocatingly stupid ending. It's really not very good.
Also on trains: BBC4 showed the original 1952 version of The Narrow Margin last night. I was only familiar with this via the slick 90s remake with Gene Hackman; this earlier version is a tough, claustropobic quickie (70 minutes) with lots of snappy dialogue. Not great - there are a few plot twists I didn't entirely buy - but it's well worth a look. Interestingly (well, for me at least) it has no music score.
Anyways, I'm aware that I watch way too many cacky movies (and blither on about them in here afterwards ) so I'm actually thinking about taking a three-week break from LoveFilm so I can get some other stuff done.
Also on trains: BBC4 showed the original 1952 version of The Narrow Margin last night. I was only familiar with this via the slick 90s remake with Gene Hackman; this earlier version is a tough, claustropobic quickie (70 minutes) with lots of snappy dialogue. Not great - there are a few plot twists I didn't entirely buy - but it's well worth a look. Interestingly (well, for me at least) it has no music score.
Anyways, I'm aware that I watch way too many cacky movies (and blither on about them in here afterwards ) so I'm actually thinking about taking a three-week break from LoveFilm so I can get some other stuff done.
Last edited by streetrw on Sun Oct 05, 2008 6:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
- sherbetbizarre
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After co-directing The Blair Witch Project, Daniel Myrick and Eduardo Sánchez took a few years off before directing again. (and with all
that money, it's not like they needed to!)
Altered (2006) is the first solo offering from Sánchez. It follows
three rednecks who capture an alien that's been terrorizing their farm
for the past few years!
They hole-up in a friends garage, strapping it to a workbench, but it's not going to stay there, is it?
This looks a bit too cheap, and some of the acting is dodgy, so it doesn't live up to its premise. Which is a pity.
Daniel Myrick also returned to directing in 2006. His latest is Solstice (2008) a pretty formalic "dead girl wants revenge" movie. A much bigger budget though, and the Louisiana locations look great. But it's too predictable and a little dull.
that money, it's not like they needed to!)
Altered (2006) is the first solo offering from Sánchez. It follows
three rednecks who capture an alien that's been terrorizing their farm
for the past few years!
They hole-up in a friends garage, strapping it to a workbench, but it's not going to stay there, is it?
This looks a bit too cheap, and some of the acting is dodgy, so it doesn't live up to its premise. Which is a pity.
Daniel Myrick also returned to directing in 2006. His latest is Solstice (2008) a pretty formalic "dead girl wants revenge" movie. A much bigger budget though, and the Louisiana locations look great. But it's too predictable and a little dull.