GORE IN THE STORE
REVIEWS BY FANS FOR FANS
5 STAR FAB - 1 STAR RUBBISH

The Hole
Outcast
Outcast
(Second Opinion)
Choose
Resident Evil: Afterlife
Mirrors 2
Puppet Master - Axis of Evil
Deadly Crossing
Death Race 2
The Last Exorcism
The Last Exorcism
(Second Opinion)
The Expendables
The Chatroom
The Garbage Pail Kids Movie
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Splice
Peeping Tom - Re-issue
A Town Called Panic
A Nightmare On Elm Street
Star Wars: The Force Unleashed 2
Night of the Demons
Lawnmower Man (Blu-ray)
Siege of the Dead
Psych 9
Big Tits Zombie
Exquisite Corpse
The Collector
The Collector
(Second Opinion)
The Tortured
Zombies of Mass Destruction
Tears For Sale
Higanjima: Escape From
Vampire Island
I Spit On YOur Grave (1978)
Twelve (XII)
Dead Cert
[REC] 2
Mother
Killer Pad
Rin – Daughters of Mnemosyne
Death Tube
Death Tube
(Second Opinion)
7 Days
Death Note
Beyond The Rave
Hunter Prey
7th Dimension
Army of the Dead
Splintered
Basement
Meat Grinder
14 Blades
Manson Girl
The Blackout
The Torment
The Torment
(Second Opinion)
Hierro
Psycho - Blu-Ray
Pet Shop of Horrors
Kaiji:
The Ultimate Gambler
Shelter
Fullmetal Alchemist:
Brotherhood Part 1
The Final
Bubba Ho Tep - Blu-Ray
Picnic at Hanging Rock
Vampire
The Dead
Resurrecting
The Street Walker
The Haunting Of
Molly Hartley
Soul Eater: Part One
Rozen Maiden:
Traumend Vol. One
Bikini Girls On Ice
Diary of a Bad Lad
Satan's Baby Doll
Feast 111
Phobia
A Lizard in a Woman's Skin
Valhalla Rising
City of the Living Dead
Dorothy
Daybreakers
Daybreakers
(Second Opinion)
Harpoon: The Reykjavik Whale
Watching Massacre
Harpoon:The Reykjavik Whale
Watching Massacre
(Second Opinion)
Feast 3:The Happy Finnish
Raging Phoenix
His Name Was Jason
Left Bank
Ju-On: White Ghost/White Ghost
Spiral
Ghost Machine
Stag Night
Bitch Slap
The Descent 2
The Descent 2-Second opinion
Dance of The Dead
Henry Lee Lucas: Serial Killer
House Of The Devil
The Twilight Saga
New Moon
Salvage
Salvage-Second opinion
Dread
The Haunted World of
El Superbeasto
Saw VI
The Horseman
Triangle-Second opinion
Triangle
Cabin Fever 2-Third opinion
Cabin Fever 2-Second opinion
Cabin Fever 2
Stan Helsing
Pandorum
Pandorum-Second opinion
Open Graves
Paranormal Activity
Growth
Growth-Second opinion
Train
Antichrist
Wrong Turn 3
Coffin Rock
Orphan
Sorority Row
Drag Me to Hell
Staunton Hill
Summer Moon
Driftwood
Messengers 2

 

Directed by Rod Amateau. Starring Mackenzie Astin, Kevin Thompson, Kevin Thompson, Anthony Newley, Ron MacLachlan, Marjory Graue, Larry Green, Arturo Gil, Phil Fondacaro, Debbie Lee Carrington. 1987. USA. 100 mins.

Did the Garbage Pail Kids phenomenon ever reach the UK? Maybe I was too old by then, but I don't remember hearing of them in the mid-to-late eighties when the trading cards came out, and the TV cartoon series didn't even get aired in the States. Even this feature film version bypassed British cinemas entirely and went straight to VHS. Mysteriously, however, after all these years it's being re-released on DVD.

A garbage can arrives on Earth containing seven revolting alien kids, kept in Anthony Newley's junk shop until local wimp Dodger (Mackenzie Astin, brother of Sean) accidentally knocks the can over, setting the creatures free - whereupon they hole up in the cellar and make stylish clothes so Astin can get close to the incredibly hot but heartless girl next door (Katie Barberi) who wants to be a fashion queen. But she and the local bullies hate the hideous alien creatures that have been working as her labour force, and arrange to have them sent to the State Home For The Ugly. Can Astin and Newley, together with the toughest gang of bikers in the world, save the day?

The Garbage Pail Kids themselves are monstrous creations with massive malformed heads and revolting habits to go with their names: Valerie Vomit, Windy Winston, Foul Phil and so on. There's puking, mucus, farting and peeing - lots and lots of farting and peeing - and the end result looks like some kind of Elephant Man sitcom made by Troma. Or an episode of The Double Deckers set in Chernobyl. Veteran TV director Rod Amateau claimed at the time that it was intended as "reverse psychology" - not mocking the ugly people, but mocking the people who DO mock the ugly people. So the big lesson is about inner beauty triumphing over external hideousness, turning the tables on the beautiful and handsome, though this is mainly achieved by farting at them and throwing up over them, and ripping the clothes off supermodels at a fashion show.

It's horrible. None of it's funny, unless you really really like toilet humour, and the Kids just look grotesque in the big false heads (they're played by little people in John Buechler suits). The pointless subplots about slave labour in the teen fashion world and the cheery use of eugenics - the State Home For The Ugly is actually an extermination camp! - don't sit comfortably with the cheerfully bad taste kiddie humour and the plot itself doesn't make any sense at all (why do Newley and Astin spend ages searching for the State Home when it's obviously not a secret organisation and in fact openly gives cash payments to anyone bringing ugly people in?).

So it's a thoroughly ugly film, morally questionable, badly done, not funny and actually a little disturbing in the design of the Kids themselves. With farting.

The DVD has no extras except for scene selection.

Richard Street.

© London FrightFest Ltd. 2000-2010
__________________________________________________________