7th March 2008.

Hello & welcome back to another instalment of my JUNK, brought to you from earthquake central Lincolnshire.

“Well quite frankly I’m as mad as hell and I’m not taking it any more” no that’s not me on PMT, that’s me last Saturday suffering the scourge of morning & daytime weekend TV. I know you’re thinking I had saved all the weeks episodes of Jeremy Kyle, but it was worse; it’s T4 I had the displeasure of catching on Channel 4 while being ill, a new reality programme called Vanity Lair, http://www.channel4.com/entertainment/tv/microsites/V/vanitylair/

Take a bunch of narcissm suffering vain young adults, stick ‘em in a house and add cameras. But there’s just one thing missing, there’s no bloody masked killer, nobody’s dying, no twisted killer is lurking the corridors of this house yet? Hollywood couldn’t make this up better, so Vanity Lair is obviously a play on words of Vanity Fair, in true horror style I had a play on words of my own.

Heres what I came up with: All The Boys Love Vanity Lair, Vanity Lair Holocaust, the missing T4 footage turns up of a model shoot in the Amazon. Vanity Lair Ferox, aka Make Them Die Slowly, (Very Slowly Indeed). Vanity Lair contestants while out making a T 4 doc, encounter cannibals, their looks can’t save them, but they sure do make a good steak. The People Under Vanity LairThe ugly ones don’t get voted out but end up underneath the house, and we all know what happens next! The Vanity Lair Chainsaw Massacre, The Last House on Vanity Lair, (home invasion hits Vanity Lair) Accion Mutante Vanity Lair; ex contestants voted out set up their own anti-vanity terrorist group, attacking Vanity Lair and beauty propaganda.

The film catacombs got me thinking; is some of that stuff in it factual? Well it is. And have you ever wondered what old cinemas look like inside when they are closed down?Well I found a cool urban exploration site with loads of old cinemas in. If you like this kind of thing take a look at www.28dayslater.co.uk There are lots of old cinemas and newer ones that have been explored and pics taken of them, and the Paris catacombs are in there as well.

The Box 360 film downloads are picking up pace with regular films added daily. Looking last night and a film I haven’t seen since the days of the BBC2 double bills of the early 80s has turned up; the 1975 film BUG starring B movie regular Bradford Dillman. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0072750/

My favourite movie book gives it a much better write up. If you have never owned the Psychotronic Encyclopaedia of Film by Michael J Weldon, there’s never been a better time or reason to buy or steal this book. It’s like my bible when it comes to film reviews, & still nearly 20 years after its publication I’m often reading it.

Heres some sites of Michael J Weldon’s, just copy the links. http://www.psychotronicvideo.com/

Meanwhile over on Ebay there’s some funky stuff on the site for movie fans.

Now I gotta ask this; what does a dragon smell like? Any idea? No me neither but with this item you can have your home smell like a dragons bum?
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=220205921727&ssPageName=STRK:MEWA:IT&ih=012

Hmmm nice. Zombie cricket anyone?

Yep check this Shaun of the Dead goody out:
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=230226864181&ssPageName=STRK:MEWA:IT&ih=013

FrightFest fans might like this one. Evil Aliens storyboards.
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=260214457954&ssPageName=STRK:MEWA:IT&ih=016

I always have time for Kevin Costner’s flicks and so did the makers of this item for Waterworld.
Http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?iewItem&rd=1&item=220206557765&ssPageName=STRK:MEWA:IT&ih=012

One of my guilty pleasures is looking on youtube for film trailers. Here’s some classics I turned up

Rabbit don’t kill people: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RIsI7CwjH3M

Kickin ass in Miami: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ0m-idDCLg

This isn’t the green mile: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhu-1GB3h5w

With a friend like this who needs an enema: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZQj2GKwKp5w

I love a good western: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YWKae45wxMI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhMD0-nym5U

One of my favourite Chuck Norris movies and superb music too.

Well folks that’s about all for this week’s junk, I’m off to check out a cinemas poster collection.

Till next time.

Nicola.

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