Convent lesbianism, hints of flagellation, suicide pacts, and a disco version of her most famous song. Ingredients for the most horrific FrightFest 2009 entry of them all? Don’t get too excited, these are the bullet points of director Stijn Conix SOEUR SOURIRE/SISTER SMILE, the bio-pic of The Singing Nun whose Sixties hit ‘Dominique’ is still an Easy Listening classic. Yes, it was that time in the Cannes festival that I had to see something other than a genre movie just to get some normal perspective back. And this year Conix’ engrossing story of the Belgian novitiate who topped the charts worldwide but never made a fortune because her record label owned her name was that recharger. Cecile de France, of SWITCHBLADE ROMANCE fame, plays the plain, glasses-wearing Jeannine Deckers in this cross between LA VIE EN ROSE and THE SOUND OF MUSIC. Actually it’s a pretty grim story when all is said and done what with Deckers’ sleazy tour manager reducing her to playing gay bars where no one cared. Whether this will get released in the UK (like my other past Cannes faves PODIUM and DISCO), I’ve no idea, but worth seeing if it is.

Another relief from the terror came from BAD SANTA screenwriters Glenn Ficarra and John Requa who wrote and directed the extraordinary I LOVE YOU PHILLIP MORRIS. It’s the one with Jim Carrey playing gay Texas con man Steve Russell whose long-running love affair with fellow cellmate Ewan McGregor led him to commit many outrageous criminal scams. Scary, touching and funny, I thought this was absolutely brilliant with Carrey so out there to a surprising degree. No wonder the Americans haven’t bought it what with the very explicit anal sex scene he’s involved in. And the ending is a real shocker too, which I wasn’t expecting at all. E1 release this later in the year and it gets a massive seal of approval from me.

HIERRO was my last movie this year before I hit the beach for a swim for the first time. Looking back it’s been an interesting Cannes. It started slow, got really busy for the useless ANTICHRIST. I was interviewed for Danish TV on that by the way. “You’re being a bit harsh”, said the interviewer, when I slagged it off remorselessly. I thought I was being kind! Manic for INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, which I enjoyed a lot, despite it clearly not being vintage Tarantino. Before winding down to a virtual standstill. Highlights for me were SPLICE, DREAD, BLACK DYNAMITE and TRIANGLE. Plus the movie that I’ve been keeping to myself because I loved it so much. A huge hit in Scandinavia already, MILLENNIUM: THE GIRL WITH DRAGON TATTOO, based on the bestseller by Stieg Larsson, opens all over the rest of Europe this week. It is without doubt the most gripping thriller of the year and that’s some feat considering a 150 minute running time. The second part of the MILLENNIUM trilogy THE GIRL WHO PLAYED WITH FIRE, premieres at the Rome Festival later this year, with the third part THE GIRL WHO KICKED THE HORNET’S NEST to follow on release soon after. Those familiar with Larsson’s books will need no urging to see this terrific and startling adaptation – think a sexier more absorbing and gorgeously filmed ANTIBODIES. MILLENNIUM is the Euro movie story of the moment, and although the French poster features the slightly misleading subtitle MEN WHO HATE WOMEN, you’ll be crazy to miss this when it opens in the UK. Hint, you might not have to wait that long either!

Until next year

Alan.

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