20th July 2009

While browsing through an online rental site the other day my eye was drawn to the comments sent in by customers and it has to be said they do provide a peculiar (and interestingly spelled) perspective on certain films. Guess what title the following quotes are referring to:

"If I had realised that this film was B&W I would never have bothered hiring it."

"I am so angry that i cant rate this film less than zero star, beacuse this film should not even be in existence."

"Why waste money when you can by good movies like JAWS, JEEPERS CREEPERS, SAW 1&2 and much more. This is a terrible film and a waste of my lfes time. WASTE YOUR MONEY ON THIS IF YOUR STUPID!"

You'd think they were going on about Attack Of The Giant Leeches or A Bucket Of Blood, but in fact it's George Romero's Night Of The Living Dead. A milestone in genre cinema and generally reckoned to be a classic by pretty much everyone, except "A customer from Nottingham". Now I know it's entirely unreasonable to expect everyone to love the movie - I wasn't a big fan of it to start with - and I'm always interested in hearing a reasonably argued opposing viewpoint (even if it's wrong). But there's no coherent response you can give to the idea that the movie shouldn't even be in existence; there's no room for debate or argument. Yes, it's in black and white. And Talladega Nights: The Ballad Of Ricky Bobby is in colour. Your point would be...?

Okay, some of the negative comments on there and on the Imbecile Movie Database are referring to the unwatchable Anniversary Edition with extra footage shoehorned in and a generic synth score replacing the original soundtrack of creepy stock library music. That's fair enough: it's a hideous bastardisation and the people responsible should be ashamed. But with regard to the original version, the idea that "I was killing myself laughing all the way through the film"? Seriously? Admittedly some of the reviewers on the IMDb do actually bother to put some thought and justification behind what they write but there are a lot of clueless idiots amongst them and it's actually annoying to read them.

Traditionally, outside the Prince Charles or Odeon West End, and soon outside the Empire as well, there's a lot of debate and argument about the Film What We Just Saw. But it's reasoned, it's thought out, even after just a few minutes. As an example, I wasn't swayed by the enthusiasm for Adam Mason's Broken a few years ago; I thought it was sadistic, depressing, too interested in brutalising its female lead, dull to look at and with a pointlessly nasty ending. But others admired it for much the same reasons: that it was downbeat, grim, gruelling and had one unforeseen kick in the teeth saved up for the last reel. I can understand why people liked it, but I just can't join with them.

Conversely, there are people out there - strange, sad people - who don't rate Pan's Labyrinth very highly. Here are some boneheaded anti-Pan quotes from the online rental customers, or at least the ones who bothered to watch it all the way through:

"Its in Spanish and it does not make sense"

"2hrs of total plop"

"very slow ..... very boring ..... whats the point"

And possibly the strangest: "Good only for kids. Adults will find this one boring."

It's obviously true that there's no accounting for personal taste. But that's where you filter things in the first place. My tastes don't generally run to, say, MGM musicals, so my pounding out 400 words about how I hate South Pacific is not only a colossal waste of my time but meaningless as a review since I'm massively biased going in. It's like me setting fire to myself then writing a lengthy Facebook note about how much it hurt. Of course I'm going to hate it. So I don't bother subjecting myself to it. Everyone's happy.

But constructive opinion and argument: that's much more fun. For example, I look forward to the cut and thrust of civilised and considered discourse when Antichrist comes out next week, whether it's good or bad..

Until the next time.

Richard.

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