THE CRITIC-AL LIST
Reviews by Alan Jones
5 STAR FAB - 1 STAR RUBBISH

Season Of The Witch
Amer
Tron: Legacy
Machete
Let Me In
Resident Evil: Afterlife
Salt
The Expendables
The Last Airbender
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Inception
Predators
The Twilight Saga:Eclipse
Toy Story 3
Hot Tub Time Machine
Iron Man 2
Repo Men
The Collector
Clash of the Titans
Shelter
How To Train Your Dragon
Kick-Ass
Shutter Island
Alice In Wonderland
The Crazies
Case 39
The Wolfman
Legion
The Lovely Bones
Black Death
Daybreakers
Avatar
Ninja Assassin
The Descent: Part 2
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
The Box
2012
Disney's A Christmas Carol
The Horseman
Solomon Kane
Pandorum
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs
District 9
An Education
G.I. Joe: The Rise Of The Cobra
Orphan
A Perfect Getaway
The Imaginarium Of
Doctor Parnassus
Up
Harry Potter
And The Half-Blood Prince
The Taking of Pelham 123
Transformers
The Revenge Of The Fallen
Antichrist
Terminator Salvation
Last House On The Left
Inglorious Basterds
Angels & Demons
Adventureland
Star Trek
Crank: High Voltage
Coraline
Dragonball Evolution
Let The Right One In
Drag Me To Hell
Race to Witch Mountain
Knowing
Monsters Vs. Aliens
Not Quite Hollywood
Lesbian Vampire Killers
Martyrs
The Children
Surveillance
Watchmen
The Unborn
The International
Friday The 13th
Franklyn
Push
Punisher:War Zone
The Good The Bad And
The Weird
Hush
Underworld
The Rise OF The Lycans
My Bloody Valentine
Bolt
Slumdog Millionaire

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan. Starring Noah Ringer, Nicola Peltz, Dev Patel, Jackson Rathbone, Shaun Toub, Aasif Mandvi, Cliff Curtis. Action/Fantasy. USA, 98 mins.

Although the American reviews of writer/director M. Night Shyamalan’s latest fantasy were vitriolic to the point of apoplectic, I thought I was going to have a better time watching it than I actually did.

Early word had started circulating about how UK audiences would find it more unintentionally amusing due to all the Bender related dialogue non-Brits wouldn’t get. So I was anticipating a laugh-riot based on all this hearsay. However apart from “I knew you’d be a bender when you grew up” and “In this closet is everything a bender could need”, even that entertainment-by-naff-double-entendre-proxy didn’t deliver. Whichever way you look at it Shyamalan’s once glorious reputation tarnishes further with this tediously juvenile comic book adventure in which the belligerent Fire Nation wants to rule the Air, Water and Earth peoples. But will young Avatar Aang (Noah Ringer) fulfil his destiny as controller of all four elements and impose harmony back on the universe? And will Sokka (Jackson Rathbone, so good in the TWILIGHT SAGA and DREAD, so awful here) and Katara (Nicola Peltz, doing a wide-eyed woodentop impression) be able to guide him along the wonky path to enlightenment? Based on a popular American anime series this often incomprehensible, way-too-potted live-action version is so over-loaded with CGI animation the platform conversion almost feels redundant. With every hackneyed JRR Tolkien slice of elfin whimsy, Brothers Grimm fable and Old Testament Biblical cliché brought into the myriad sub-plotted story, the blanket banality is increased by Shyamalan’s completely bland direction and execrable performances by those who should have done far better. Dev Patel’s Prince Zuko character sums up the whole sorry mess. You don’t know if he’s a bad guy, a good guy, indifferent villain or pointless exposition and as acted by the SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE you won’t much care. A few epic vistas and spectacular images are visually striking - the tsunami wall of water holding the Fire Nation’s ships at bay recalls the parting of the Red Sea thrill in THE TEN COMMANDMENTS - but most of the elemental ‘bending’ is poorly conceived and unexciting, especially in the 3D repackaging that flattens any special effect into ordinariness.

Now I really liked THE SIXTH SENSE, absolutely loved UNBREAKABLE, and then thought everything else was pretty poor especially that load of old fairytale dreck, THE LADY IN THE WATER. While THE LAST AIRBENDER begins with the chapter heading ‘Book 1: Water’ it’s doubtful there will be any further episodes despite how well this $280 costing folly (budget plus marketing) initially it did at the box-office.  Time to say night Night, I fear.

Alan Jones

© London FrightFest Ltd. 2000-2010
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