THE CRITIC-AL LIST
Reviews by Alan Jones
5 STAR FAB - 1 STAR RUBBISH

Season Of The Witch
Amer
Tron: Legacy
Machete
Let Me In
Resident Evil: Afterlife
Salt
The Expendables
The Last Airbender
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Inception
Predators
The Twilight Saga:Eclipse
Toy Story 3
Hot Tub Time Machine
Iron Man 2
Repo Men
The Collector
Clash of the Titans
Shelter
How To Train Your Dragon
Kick-Ass
Shutter Island
Alice In Wonderland
The Crazies
Case 39
The Wolfman
Legion
The Lovely Bones
Black Death
Daybreakers
Avatar
Ninja Assassin
The Descent: Part 2
The Twilight Saga: New Moon
The Box
2012
Disney's A Christmas Carol
The Horseman
Solomon Kane
Pandorum
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs
District 9
An Education
G.I. Joe: The Rise Of The Cobra
Orphan
A Perfect Getaway
The Imaginarium Of
Doctor Parnassus
Up
Harry Potter
And The Half-Blood Prince
The Taking of Pelham 123
Transformers
The Revenge Of The Fallen
Antichrist
Terminator Salvation
Last House On The Left
Inglorious Basterds
Angels & Demons
Adventureland
Star Trek
Crank: High Voltage
Coraline
Dragonball Evolution
Let The Right One In
Drag Me To Hell
Race to Witch Mountain
Knowing
Monsters Vs. Aliens
Not Quite Hollywood
Lesbian Vampire Killers
Martyrs
The Children
Surveillance
Watchmen
The Unborn
The International
Friday The 13th
Franklyn
Push
Punisher:War Zone
The Good The Bad And
The Weird
Hush
Underworld
The Rise OF The Lycans
My Bloody Valentine
Bolt
Slumdog Millionaire

Directed by Jon Turteltaub. Starring Nicolas Cage, Jay Baruchel, Alfred Molina, Teresa Palmer, Monica Bellucci, Toby Kebbel. Adventure/Comedy/Fantasy. USA, 111 mins.

It’s certainly not mega-producer Jerry Bruckheimer’s year. PRINCE OF PERSIA tanked big-time and THE SORCERER’S APPRENTICE has underperformed in America tallied to some pretty poor reviews. (While we’re at it let’s add the CSI franchise into the moaned about mix as all three have recently jumped the shark in terms of sheer plot lunacy).  So where does that leave PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 4, NATIONAL TREASURE 3 and BAD BOYS 3? Hopefully as about as hotly anticipated as another BP oil spill!

Conveyor belt blockbusters really have to have something unique to compete these days. Stratospheric salaried stars are out, that’s clear. So too is CGI overload that’s turning even live-action movies into cartoon extensions. No it all boils down to what it always did, a bright and breezy plot first and foremost. And that’s why THE SORCERER’S APPRENTICE is such a failure. The story, as usual written by an Attention Deficit Disorder committee, is bitty and mundane to the point of bog-standard blandness. Which is such a shame because Disney’s attempt at appropriating some HARRY POTTER style magic is a barrage of often appealing, imaginative and spectacular special effects. Jay Baruchel exudes a winning nerdy charm as physics student David Stutler told by immortal sorcerer Balthazar Blake (an okay Nicolas Cage) he’s a Merlin ancestor predicted to defend Manhattan from The Rising, a ritual to form an army of the dead for mankind enslavement. Cue exasperating disbelief despite the numerous examples of demonstrated magic, an awkward crash course in spell training and ludicrous time-outs for college romance with rediscovered first love Becky Barnes (dreary Teresa Palmer).  It all leads up to a battle royale with Balthazar’s arch-nemesis evil Maxim Horvath (wonderfully sinister Alfred Molina) to revive mega sorceress Morgana le Fay (a barely there Alice Krige). Never boring, but never more than competent, NATIONAL TREASURE director Jon Turteltaub marshals the eye-candy action proficiently enough without ever engaging any true sense of wonder. Vaguely construed as an expansion on the Mickey Mouse broom-cleaning segment from FANTASIA, referenced briefly when Dave is late for a date, other imaginative CGI fireworks include a Chrysler Building art deco metal eagle flying, a Chinatown parade dragon becoming real, wolves leaping from a calendar to go hunting and a mirror reverse world.

A word of praise too for CONTROL star Toby Kebbell who cuts an amusing dash as Horvath’s apprentice Drake Stone in the David Copperfield Vegas-style tradition. Basically a Good vs. Evil tale that’s both one-note and way too juvenile even by Disney’s yardstick, this is one ancient conflict that is just that in populist screen terms – ancient.

Alan Jones

© London FrightFest Ltd. 2000-2010
__________________________________________________________